White Widow

I light the flame of pure escape

I run side by side with just enough self-hate

I hide on clouds and glasses made for shots

I'm probably lying more often than not

I'll cry you a river

If you sing me a song

I'd never buy it again

If I could weather the storm

He's such a creep after just ten hits

He's so annoyed that he throws bitchy fits

I can't separate him from me

I don't really want to

Because it's comforting

Inhuman Condition

Live long and prosper

Have a nice day

You crack a false smile

And walk your own way

Death awaits those

Who strive to live

In the end of the fable

You're the fugitive

Walk on by

And don't look down

Step every step

With a firm and happy frown

Desperate actions

Inherent fear

Choke on the oxygen

Go blind in the clear

It's not your place

To lecture me

I'm always right

My insecurities

Back me up

And shut you up

So leave me alone

And come over at eight

Help!

If he can do it

Then so can I

If he's not bleeding

Then why would I?

Look at me faint

While still awake

Stinging silver

Tests my faith

I thought I was stronger

But he is stronger

I hate the excuse

"Oh it's 'cause he's older"

The feeling of bliss 

Has no age

Just like no angel

Is locked in a cage

We'll dance on mountains

And scream really loud

We'll do this faithfully

Till we've attracted a crowd

Help!

Away In The End

Still remember when you said

Everything you love is dead

Strangers knocking on your door

Who could ask for anymore?

Everyone that you know

Goes away in the end

And everytime I close my eyes

Think of you when you would cry

It hurt me more than you could know

Hurts me every time I go

Everyone that you know

Goes away in the end

Stephanie Gretchen Victoria Militia Vox

Thinking of you is a poem unto itself

The lack of words convinces me that

My feelings for you

Transcend language

The past scratches at the present

Yet the present glances forward

1:15 a.m. luck made pride
Let down its pride

For a split second

It took only that split second

For magic to enter the room

Now we're both looking for the light switch

And occasionally our hands touch

Why?

Why do we cry over things we don't have?

Why do we insist it's better not to be sad?

Why do some people sleep on the streets?

While others use dollars to dry their feet?

Serpents shiver when people realize

That giving is a gift with no compromise

An extended hand is the chance

Misguided souls choose ignorance

The Soldier Under The Soft Skin

Hello precious

Won't you follow me?

I swear to God

I'll get us lost

Hello stranger

Won't you look into my eyes?

I swear to God

You'll find my truth

Broken angels 

Don't live here no more

I have found

My will to live

If you hate me

Then why are you sure

My time is nothing more

Every time I look at you

I feel it's gonna be okay

My love

Days are passing

And I am here scared

Thinking of the things to come

No one told me

To be well aware

That true love

Just isn't fair

The World Isn't Yours

Listen to the silence

Remember what you hear

For all that’s heard in contemplation

Is what you grow to fear

Innocence is lost

Materialism is found

Striving hard to break the chains

That hold the strongest down

Stay

I tried so hard to be

Everything that you wanted me to be

I think that I have had enough

Of your petty games I have given up

Call me back when you've made up your mind

I’m sure this will take a little time

Don’t think these words are meant for you

I don’t really care, this is sad, but true

Stay with me till the end of time

Stay with me till the sun don’t shine

Never thought that I would see the day

That you would get up and start to walk away

Never thought that I would hear the sound

 Of the closing door as you're walking out

That’s okay, I’ve still got my guitar,

It’s my magic glue to mend a broken heart

I think that I've already said way

Too many things that I’ll soon regret

Life Motto

The trick to life is to make sure that all the races you are running all have the same finish line.

Crack Cobain (2007)

I'm drawn to you and your ear pleasing fizzle
Why? I'm not sure perhaps because I'll miss you
Perhaps in time you will cease to be
My worst friend, worst hobby and worst enemy
You've cost me a lot in such a short amount of time
Perhaps that's why fucking with you is considered a crime
You make no exceptions, you destroy all that you meet
You're the opposite of subtle and discreet
I can't seem to shake you as a habit
Instead I rehearse the chorus: "I need my next hit."

Valentine World

This all seems like a cosmic joke
So much relief provided by clouds of smoke
So much pain it makes my blood thicken
So little space for me to grow
Feeling like a hamster trapped in a cage
A cage big enough for me, but not big enough for my rage
I see the way you tease me with your prizes
Then all I can judge you by are their prices
I walk farther and farther from home base
But worry not Mary Jane is already on the case
She's making it so that I can laugh and eat
she's making it so that I'm numb to defeat
Someone calls out a warning
But do I heed it? No, not today
Why? Because it's just not the way
That I deal with the everyday shit that makes me
Want to alleviate myself daily or weekly
I'm weak from the thought that maybe today
Will be different from yesterday, but who can say
I write, and I write but with no real direction
It's like walking living in a valentine world and finding no affection

Apartment 213

When i was little
It was all so simple
Now I'm older and
The world seems colder
Should I conform or should I rebel
Back when I was five I couldn't even tell
Now I'm drowning in roles and rules
There's such a thin line between goods and fools
Wish I could go back to green eggs and ham
Its too late now; I've been adopted by Uncle Sam
Back then it was only about the birds and the bees
Now I'm assaulted by the realities of pregnancy
After all is said and done
I sit down and cry
I ask myself this:
Was I socialized or brutalized?

Devil In Disguise

Evil doesn't always have horns
Sometimes it wears a tie
Evil doesn't always wear red
Sometimes it wears Armani black
Evil sometimes is as good as good
But disguises it with smiles
Evil doesn't live alone
It's great friends with denial
If ever you stumble upon Satan
It might quite simply be
Jesus Christ all dolled for Halloween
Nothing is what it seems
And that should scare us all
But we're too busy checking our makeup
To see our inevitable fall

                              

Remembering You

Popcorn is good

Cocaine is better

Halogen lamps

Handknit sweaters

Raw speech is gold

I break the mold

You cry in vain

I stand the pain

You worship me

I envy thee

I bleed for her

She's Lucifer

I blink an eye

She shakes a thigh

I kill the sheep

You fall asleep

I deal with crowds

While you're coming down

I say good night

You stay for life

The installation is complete

If

If life was a carnival
I would trade in all of my tokens just to hear the sound of your voice
If I was thirsty I wouldn't drink until I found a cup of you
If I were a thief I wouldn't know whether to steal your smile or your laughter
If I was a baby I wouldn't stop crying until I was in your arms
If I was an angel
I would ask God to introduce me to you
If you were a sunrise
I would have nothing, but good days
If you were a sunset
I would have nothing, but good nights

As I Climb - Verse 1

Watch me as I smoke some marijuana

Watch me as I climb

Watch me now distort my panorama

Watch me as I fry

Everybody knows I’m not way too common

Everybody says 

Everybody says it's such an honor

Every woman is wet

B E - lie - V E

I'm an accident waiting to happen

A small boy with many words and few actions

Reactions appease my desire for attention

Substances tend to lead to my ascension

Inspired verses all mixed up with curses

Formulaic choruses melody rich and subjective

Operation save my soul from the cold in my soul

Altruistic by appearance, but insecure and quite conceited

Now addicted, afflicted and somewhat defeated

Out with the old and in with the new

With a venomous tongue, I do not much, but spew

In Vain

Don't you know that what you know

Is slowly dying inside of me

Everyone that has come undone before

Is in this misery

All the tears that I have cried

All the promises I've made

Have been in vain

Oh God I feel like such a fake

 Oh God this formula is a disgrace

Oh God I feel just like my face

Is walking away from me